My First Ephiphany (of the trip)

Today I hung up any clothes that I view as "fancy." These included several shirts and a few skirts. It also included my two jackets that I brought, since they're too bulky to fold. And I am amazed at how much stuff I have.

There's a Canadian here named Megan. She has dreadlocks and I believe the best way to describe her is cool. In fact, she's amazing. She takes the time to get to know all of the students in our hall of dorms, which is known as Kairanga Court. Perhaps the most admirable thing is she doesn't shy away from pronouncing the somewhat intimidating names of the non-Western international students. She listens. She drinks tap water and doesn't think anything about it. She leaves her dorm door open almost all the time because in her mind, if something gets stolen it's just an object.

And then there's me. Through her actions Megan illuminated lots of things I'd like to change about myself. For example, I avoid saying the international names because I can't understand them when they're spoken to me, nor can I pronounce them clearly. I've coated my face with make up every day that I've been in New Zealand. I love bottled water, despite knowing that the tap water in Palmerston North is totally drinkable. And I have so much STUFF! I'm trying not to be too hard on myself, but man! My grandmother, my mom, and I went through my luggage twice to weed out unneccessary items, and I still over packed. When I was hanging up my clothes I noticed that several of my pieces of clothing have never been worn at all. I'm saving them for a special occasion. Because looking really good, or at least wearing brand new clothes makes me feel really good.

I love clothes. I love Pellegrino bottled water (the kind with bubbles). Oh! And the big one: I want to attract male attention by looking pretty. I don't think these are crimes at all, but I do think they can be carried to an extreme. And I may have passed the level of extreme. For example, I haven't had any water all morning because I can't bring myself to drink the tap water. I want this to change. It's going to change. Fortunately I don't feel like I'm going it alone. The greatest thing about my faith is that I can struggle with something and know there's always room for error, but I am allowed room for mistakes.

All this excess makes me want to take up a vow of poverty. I think I need the Peace Corps far more than they need me.