a looming threat

I just took a nap because I am concerned about my health. My roommate has had a cough for a year, or so she tells me. I think she's passing it onto me. I find it ironic that I care more about germs than most people and yet I seem to get sick just as often if not more frequently than they. In order to avoid the illness I've started to take three echinacia per day.

I met some New Zealanders yesterday through one of my friends. They're easy to understand as long as they aren't using very short words. I find those difficult to compredhend. I mean, a three letter word can be anything. But if there are two syllables there's a greater chance I can piece together the word.

I found the Christian organization on campus and am a bit shocked at the time they typically meet: Fridays at 7 PM. I just think this time is a little odd since it's so close to the weekend. Frankly, it's not a memorable time. People inevitably are hanging out with friends on Friday evenings. I myself forgot about yesterday's meeting. Hopefully I'll remember next week, but I was planning on doing a lot of traveling on the weekends since I don't have any Friday classes. Hmm.

I am always amazed at how soon my faults emerge when I'm with people. It doesn't take long for people to come to realize I worry about offending people way too much. I've already been chastised for it since I came here. But really, isn't it a bit odd to text someone you've only met a few times? There was a bbq at the river today and I chose not to go but I texted (this is sending a written message from your phone) on behalf of a friend. I got this person's number from someone else. When I expressed an amount of concern I was told that I need to be less sensitive. To me, it's more of a concern about good manners.

I like manners! I enjoy having boundaries with people I don't know too well. Maybe this isn't a good thing, but I just think sometimes people are way too forward. I'm not begging for God to put me back in the Victorian Age, but I think a sense of restraint is always appropriate. But I think my hesitancy of calling people my friends without hearing them use the word first is from the same tendency. I think I'm getting better about that though. It's a concern for rejection, is what it is. It's a fear of people. Of Man. Yes, with a capital "M."

There's a foam party tonight but I just can't imagine that's very sanitary. A few of my friends are going to a party at some guy's apartment so I'll probably go over there.

I can feel my camp tendencies beginning to seep in. This is the theory that I make a lot of friends and then withdraw because I'm afraid they find me annoying. How childish! But even now I'm paranoid about coming to a party to which I was not personally invited. But I'm going to break through this and ignore my feelings.

My room is a wreck.